A Dog’s Christmas Letter
Well, here we are at the end of another 7 years. It seems it was only yesterday that I sat down to write my holiday letter! Time has flown by since last December. Some think that these holiday letters are boring, but to me, it’s the one chance I get every season to tell you how my life is better than yours. So here goes…
2009 was an exciting year filled with visits to the mountains to hunt marmots and to pee where no dog has peed before. We did several road trips to visit friends and family this past year. The first was in April to visit Barney. If you remember my last letter, I wrote that Barney was going to the city to be tutored. I was mistaken. Turns out he went to the hospital to be neutered. He was convalescing during our visit, so he didn’t get to go hunting with me. I did bring him a lovely dead rat to lift his spirits and aid in his recovery.
My nephew Sparky graduated from obedience school in May and is going on to study for his Canine Good Citizen test. He’s the first in the family to go to college. We’re so proud!
Aunt Tillie retired from herding this year. Although, retired is probably not the right word. You know you can’t keep a good Border Collie down. She’ll spend her retirement on the golf course. She’s volunteered to herd geese off the greens.
Cousin Gracie made the local news when she became the mother of 3 baby girls and 5 baby boys. She was dubbed the “Octamom” of Benton County. Mom and kids are all doing fine. However, she’s getting no help from that no-good scoundrel of a deadbeat dad. Rumor has it he ran off with a Beagle mix he met at a stray bar. They were last seen begging for food at the back door of Bob’s Big Boy on 17th and Locust.
Great Uncle Zippy has finally conquered the Ear-rectile Dysfunction that has plagued him his entire life. His left ear is now standing up nicely with a little help from a Popsicle stick and a discreet comb-over. It’s hardly noticeable.
On a brighter note, our celebrity of the family, Coco is being considered to star on a new reality show. After her recent success in “Project Run-away,” we believe it’s a sure thing that she’ll land the starring role on “America’s Next Top Poodle.”
Well, that just about wraps up the news of this past year. Here’s hoping you have a happy holiday season. May your days be filled with chasing squirrels and digging holes in the back yard. And, here’s wishing your nights are spent curled up at your peoples’ feet by the fire.
Butt sniffs to all, and to all a good night!
Boomer