A Dog Would Beg To Differ: The Lighter Side of the Alpha Controversy
To listen to certain people talk about the dominance theory in dog training you’d think it’s some kind of global canine conspiracy to take over the planet. Not everything is about control. Living with dogs is not an epic struggle for leadership. If it were, dogs would be running international dog food cartels and selling the cat on eBay.
Too many undesirable canine events are attributed to the belief that the dog wants to be the alpha or pack leader. Following that line of thinking, I now believe that my dog sheds on the sofa because he wants to be dominant. I’m confused though, as to whether he wants to be dominant over the sofa or me.
The human species engages in unremitting battle for leadership and we anthropomorphize the behavior. I wonder about other species. Do you suppose there is such a thing as an Alpha sponge? If there were, the Alpha sponge would most definitely eat first, mate first, and lead the pack during annual mass sponge migrations.
The dominance theory would be set on its ear by some of the canine misconduct that takes place in my household. For instance, my dog Mr. MoJo yells at me. Alpha theorists might see this as a bid for dominance. I say that perhaps, he’s simply trying to communicate his plan for relocating a bone. Alpha believers would cringe to know of this great transgression; I’ve been French kissed by a German Shepherd Dog who uses his tongue for toilet paper. Don’t get me wrong. I neither enjoy nor encourage this behavior. I just don’t think it has anything to do with whether my dog believes in his supremacy over me.
If dogs are directly descended from wolves and therefore behave like wolves, (an idea currently up for debate) some hypothesize that we should emulate or eliminate perceived dominant canine behavior. Let’s take a closer look at this notion.
The Alpha Eats First: Dogs usually act as though they’re one meal away from starvation; let’s use that to our advantage. I don’t believe I have to eat first to be the leader. I believe that until dogs learn how to work the can opener, I’m in charge. Now, if they do learn to work the can opener, you can bet that they will be fixing my dinner!
The Alpha Goes Through Doors First: Until dogs grow opposable thumbs and can open doors by themselves, I’m in charge. How did we get this idea from observing wolves? I imagine that some, more evolved wolves might have swinging doors and, maybe escalators at the entryway to their dens.
The Alpha Walks Ahead On Leash: Some say that in order for me to be the alpha; my dog must walk behind or beside me while on leash. (Now, I’m picturing a wolf pack walking single file according to rank.) I don’t really care where my dog walks. He can carry a flag or twirl a baton to lead the parade if he wants. Just as long as he doesn’t rip my arm from its socket and he’ll pay attention to me when I ask, I’m in charge.
The Alpha Sleeps On The Bed: Dogs make great foot warmers and I enjoy having my German Shepherd preheat the sheets in the wintertime. The only conflict here is the sleep number setting; his number is lower than mine. To resolve the issue, I simply taught him to change the setting to my number before I come to bed.
Marking Territory: Even if my dog were marking his territory with a can of spray paint, instead of using the conventional canine method, I’m not emulating it! Period.
House Soiling: Plain and simple, there is no such thing as revenge pooping. Dogs think their poop is amazing and a source of great pride. Knowing this, why would we reason that a dog would use poop as retribution? I have no specific plans of emulating this behavior either.
Begging At The Table: I’m a vegetarian. My dogs are definitely not. They express their disappointment in the matter with threats to surrender themselves to the nearest shelter unless I bring home the occasional pot roast.
I believe that dogs would beg to differ with us about the dominance theory. I don’t think that they want to assimilate humans into some sort of canine dictatorship. I think that dogs really only think about three things: food, fun, and how to acquire each in unlimited supply. Indeed, they’re training us well.